The Wizard of Bayville
by Toddles-LiL-Cuddlebumps
Summary: I don't think we're in Bayville anymore...Pietro lost in Oz.....
1. cheese crunchys and warm water

Foreword: OK, so no one liked my other story. Here's a new one which I hope you will like. If you haven't read the other one, please do. So here's the new story:  
  
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The Wizard of Oz by: The Brotherhood & The Acolytes!….and some of the X-Men.  
  
Dorothy: Pietro  
  
Scarecrow: Blob  
  
Tin Man: Piotr  
  
Cowardly Loin: Sabertooth  
  
Glenda the good witch: Storm  
  
Wicked Witch of the west: Mystique  
  
Wicked witch of the east: Jean Gray (just cause I want her to get smashed)  
  
Munchkins: Jamie (Multiple Man)  
  
The Wizard: Magneto  
  
Auntie 'Em: Lance   
  
Uncle….(I don't know..): Todd  
  
Toto: Evan  
  
Mayor of Munchkin-land:Wolverine  
  
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It was a lovely day at the Brotherhood Boarding house. Pietro was sitting on the couch watching TV, when Blob came running…(or should I say waddling?) into the living room.   
  
"Where's Todd? He stole my cheese crunchy's! I just know it!" Blob said, half out of breath.  
  
"Why do you think I know where he is?" Pietro asked.  
  
"I'm just asking if he came through here."  
  
"Well, he hasn't! Now get outta the way of the TV!"  
  
Just then, Todd popped into the room. Blob started to run at Todd.  
  
"Where're my cheese crunchy's?"   
  
"I didn't touch 'em! I can't stand those things."   
  
"Your lying!"  
  
Blob grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen.  
  
"Tell me where they are!"  
  
"I don't know! I hate those things!"  
  
Blob started chasing Todd around the living room and kitchen.   
  
"Stop it, yo!" Todd yelled   
  
Todd jumped behind the couch where Pietro was sitting.  
  
"Come out from there!" Blob yelled  
  
Todd popped his head from left to right. Blob was trying to hit him with the frying pan. (hehehe, it looks like whack a mole)  
  
"Will you get outta the way of the damn TV?!?!?" Pietro yelled  
  
Just then, Blob "whacked the mole", only it was Pietro and not Todd. Blob and Todd ran to Pietro.  
  
"Oh my god yo! You killed Pietro!"  
  
"I did not! He's just…knocked out."  
  
"Let's get some warm water and try to make him piss himself!"  
  
So they ran to the kitchen to grab some warm water. 


	2. The Purple stone road

Pietro woke up to find himself in a bush. He rubbed his eyes groggily. He sat up.   
  
"Why the hell am I in a god damn bush?!?! Blob better not have raped me!" Pietro said loudly.  
  
Just after Pietro said rape there came little giggles from other bushes around him.  
  
"Who's giggling at me? Lance, that better not be you!"   
  
Pietro got up and started searching trough the bushes when out popped a munchkin.  
  
"AHHHH!! Damn! You look like Bobby! Oh my god! You are Bobby!"  
  
**giggle giggle**  
  
Just then all of these munchkins popped out from nowhere.  
  
"Holy shit!" Pietro yelled  
  
"What's the problem, bub?" The Mayor of munchkin land asked.  
  
"AHHH!! You look like Wolverine!"  
  
The munchkins started whispering to each other.  
  
"What's he talking about?"  
  
"Who's Wolverine?  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Where'd he come from?"  
  
Just then a sparkly white bubble floated down from the sky.  
  
"It's her, It's her! EEEEE!!" all the munchkins announced  
  
"Who the hell is that?!?" Pietro asked  
  
All the munchkins got down on their knees. The bubble landed on the ground and turned into a lady  
  
"What the hell? Where are all of you getting these stupid costumes?" Pietro asked angrily.  
  
"And who may I ask is this? Glenda asked.  
  
"You know who I am Storm!" Pietro said.  
  
"Who is this Storm you speak of? And who are you?  
  
"I'm Pietro, you stupid old windbag!" Pietro shouted at her  
  
"OOO!! You must be a bad witch."  
  
"No, see my sister. She's a witch. Me? Not a witch."  
  
"You accuse your sister of being a witch? You must be a bad witch!"  
  
"I'm not a witch!" Pietro said, losing patience.  
  
"You are lying! You are a bad witch."  
  
"FOR THE LAST TIME LADY, I AM NOT A GOD DAMN WITCH!"  
  
Just then The wicked witch of the east popped outta the sky. The munchkins trembled in fear.  
  
"Where are my shoes? You said you'd have my shoes?"  
  
"I have the magic shoes, but they're on his feet." Glenda pointed her wand at Pietro feet. Pietro had suddenly grown 4 inches, he looked down at his feet.  
  
"What the fuck lady? I don't wear no chick shoes! Take 'em off I tell!!"  
  
Glenda had put the magic stiletto heels on Pietro so they would be safe.  
  
"I had enough of this crap!"   
  
Pietro picked up one of the munchkins houses and threw it at Glenda. Glenda used her wand to trade places with The wicked witch of the east, and to make the house larger. The wicked witch of the east was smashed by the weight of house. All the munchkins cheered.  
  
"YAY! I have a hotel! 5 bucks an hour, per bed!" one of the munchkins announced.  
  
"OK, I've had enough of this place! I wanna go home!"  
  
"But you can't, you must take the magic shoes to the wizard and he will tell you how to get home. OH! Take this with you." Glenda threw a dog with Evan's at Pietro.  
  
"DAMN YOU UGLY!" Pietro told the dog.  
  
"He will be your faithful companion while you are on your journey."  
  
"Come on bitch." Pietro tugged on the leash.  
  
"How do I get outta here?" he asked  
  
One of the munchkins came up to him  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"Follow the Purple Stone Road!"  
  
"OK! I GET THE FREAKING POINT!"   
  
So Pietro followed the purple stone road….. 


	3. Over weight hay

Pietro and his "bitch" had been walking a long time when Pietro finally got tired. Pietro sat down on a nice fluffy haystack.  
  
"HEY! Get off me!" The haystack yelled  
  
"Whoa! What drug am I on? This place is frigin trippy…"  
  
The haystack got up, only it wasn't a haystack. It was a really fat scarecrow.   
  
"Who are you? Why did you sit on me?"  
  
"I thought you were a haystack, you looked nice and comfortable."  
  
"Well, uh….I'm not! What's your name?"  
  
"I'm Pietro, and this is my bitch, Even. So what's your deal? Why are you here?"  
  
"Ummm… Lemme remember….OH YEA! I'm the scarecrow without a brain."  
  
"Gee, that was obvious. So what's up with your weight issues?"  
  
"Some kids were walking by and saw the extra straw and thought it would be funny to make me fat."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"So what are you doing here?"  
  
"I don't know. I hafta go to the Tarnished City to find the wizard of Oz so I can get these uncomfortable high heels off and so I can go home."  
  
"Do you think if I go with you the wizard will perform liposuction?"  
  
"Sure he will! Let's go!"   
  
"Do you mind getting your dog off me first?"  
  
"Whadda ya mean?"  
  
Pietro looked down to see Evan humping Blob's leg.  
  
"Hey stupid!!"  
  
"What?" Blob asked  
  
"Not you the dog"  
  
"oh, ok"  
  
Pietro pick up Even.  
  
"Good doggie, good doggie"  
  
Pietro set Evan down next to his foot.  
  
"Get lost you stupid mutt!"  
  
Pietro had kicked Evan into fields they would later cross.  
  
"Why'd you do that?!?!" Blob asked  
  
"Don't worry, he can't leave me. He'll be waiting there."  
  
"I hope he isn't hurt…"  
  
"Come on! Let's go find the wizard!"  
  
So they skipped of into the sunshine. 


	4. Tin lubracation

Pietro and Blob had been walking all day when they finally came across "Toto"  
  
"'Bout time you stupid mutt!" Pietro said as he spit on Evan.  
  
Evan ran off into some bushes, and started barking.  
  
"Shut up or I'm gonna make some damn stew!"   
  
Suddenly they heard a hissing noise.  
  
"Quite pissing on me you damn dog!" Someone shouted from the bushes.  
  
Pietro and Blob headed into the bushes to find out who it was. It was a guy made of tin!  
  
"WHOA! Who the fuck are you?!?!"   
  
"Uh… Do I know you?" Blob asked.  
  
"I am Piotr, the Tin Man. I've been metaly for 29 years, and I can't get out of this form."  
  
**Sigh**  
  
"If you're metal how the hell are you whining?!?"   
  
"Hey! I don't gots a body, I have a oval! Come and follow us to the Wizard's house!"  
  
"The wizard's house?" Piotr asked  
  
"He means Tarnished City" Pietro explained  
  
"I hafta go visit the wizard so he'll tell me how to get home, and he hasta go to get liposuction."  
  
"Yea, look!"   
  
Blob demonstrated how badly he needed liposuction by lying on the ground and spinning.  
  
"WHEEE!! I'm a top!" "Uh-oh, I don't feel so good…"  
  
"So, are you coming with us or not?  
  
"I would love to, only I can't move.  
  
"What do ya mean you can't move?!?"  
  
"I've been sitting here rusting since I found that playboy."  
  
"WHAT PLAYBOY?!?!"  
  
"The one over there, I sat down on this log to read it and it started raining. I've been stuck here ever since."  
  
Pietro ran over to where the playboy had been.  
  
"I've seen this one!"  
  
"I've been looking at it for 29 years, how do you think I feel?"  
  
"Good point, here you can borrow mine."  
  
"HEY! Chicks have improved! DAMN!!"  
  
"So how the hell do we get you outta here?"  
  
"See that tube over there?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Grab it and start putting it on me."  
  
Pietro went over to the tube, and picked it up.  
  
"THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M LUBRACATING YOU!"  
  
"Just do my hands and I'll do the rest, please?"  
  
"Fine, but I'm gonna go around the corner when you do it yourself…"  
  
So Pietro started lubricating Piotr.  
  
"Oh yea!"  
  
"DUDE!! Quit that!"  
  
"Sorry… I'll handle it from here."  
  
So Piotr lubricated himself…. **EWWW!!**  
  
"Are you done yet?!?!"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
"OK!"  
  
"Where are we going again?" Blob asked  
  
"The Tarnished City, dumbass!" Piotr and Pietro said together.  
  
So they skipped off, kicking Even as they walked. 


	5. Tin Ballerina's and Lions dogs

Pietro, Blob, Piotr and Even had been walking a long way when they decided to take a break.  
  
"How much farther?" Blob whined.  
  
"Quit your bitching, I ain't even tired!" Pietro said as he ran around  
  
There came a shout from the bushes  
  
"OWWIEEE!!!"  
  
A 'lion' leaped out of the bushes holding his tail  
  
"You stepped on me tail!! I'm telling!!" The 'lion' said  
  
"What's you damn problem?" Pietro asked  
  
"You stepped on my tail you idiot!!"  
  
"And you are?" Piotr asked  
  
"I'm the cowardly lion, and YOU stepped on my tail!"   
  
" Ummm…. **drools** We are going to the Tarnished City, wanna come?" Blob asked  
  
"Why are you going to the Tarnished City?"  
  
"Because, Tubby needs liposuction, The Man of Steel needs to… you never told us what you need…."  
  
"I need… Well, I'd like the Wizard to make me more graceful so I can follow my dreams and…be a Ballerina! **sparkly eyes**"  
  
Everyone burst out laughing.  
  
**15 mins later…..**  
  
"So …lion.."  
  
"It's Sabertooth thank you!"  
  
"Sorry, Sabertooth, what are you gonna ask the wizard for?"  
  
"I need a new ball of yarn." Sabertooth announced  
  
Just then Even started swatting at Sabertooth's tail.  
  
"AWWW…. Why didn't ya introduce me to this lil hottie?!?" Sabertooth asked  
  
"What, this piece of shit?" Pietro asked picking Even up by his tail.  
  
Sabertooth snatched him from Pietro  
  
"If you don't want him, can I have him?  
  
"Take him!! Thank you!!"  
  
"No, thank you" Sabertooth smiled evilly as he petted Even  
  
"So are you coming with us ?"Blob asked  
  
"If ya wanna keep the mutt ya hafta come so along."  
  
"I'm coming!!" Sabertooth shouted  
  
"Then let's go" Pietro whined  
  
And they went along their merry way….  
  
"Hurry up Sabertooth! Rape the dog later!!" 


End file.
